Fuck it. I'm pissing on his lawn.

Holy flying pearl necklaces, what in the name of Jim Kelly's left tit was that, McKelvin? How do you fumble the ball there? HOW DO YOU DROP THE ONLY THING YOU NEED TO CARRY!??!?!? If the emaciated remains of Patrick Swayze were alive, not even he would have fumbled the ball there! HOLD ON TO THE PIGSKIN! IT'S BASIC FOOTBALL!

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. We're cursed. We're fucking cursed! I need to do something to turn around the curse and show that we Buffalonians are not going to stand around for these repeated fuck ups.

But what to do?

I could buy a McKelvin jersey and burn it. Or put it on a mannequin and hang it in effigy. But...that would cost a lot of money. Fuck that. We're in a recession. FUCKING THANKS OBAMA YOU KENYAN COCKHERDER! I want to stuff my cock in an envelope and MAIL IT TO YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!

I could keep yelling to no one in particular, but that doesn't seem like it would be too effective. I'd probably just be wasting my voice and wasting breath, which I'll probably be taxed on soon anyway.

Maybe I could start a petition to cut McKelvin? That would help send the message that these players will be held accountable for all of this shit that they fuck up....but, that ain't gonna go anywhere with that old fuck Wilson still in charge.

Damn it.

Wait. Yes. That's perfect.

I'm going to piss on his lawn.

Yeah! I'm going to drive out to this titfucker's house and then I'm going to fucking whip my dick out and start pissing on his lawn. I'm going to piss on his lawn until I've COMPLETELY RUN OUT OF PISS. Then I'm going to drink some piss that I've saved up and piss that piss back onto his lawn. I'm going to fill his lawn up with so much piss that he'll think he's living in R. Kelly's bedroom. HOLY FUCK AM I EVER GOING TO PISS. I'm going to put an ad on Craigslist asking people to send me piss that I can piss out on to his lawn. I'm going to start a pissbank, McKelvin, and then I'm going to deposit it all over your fucking lawn.

You know what? That's not even enough. After I'm done pissing, I'm going to spraypaint his fucking lawn.

 

 That oughta show him!