Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Randy Couture has defied aging!


Look at that old man. 46 years old. And he's fighting! Clearly defying the aging process, as Joe Rogan and numerous media outlets have noted. From ESPN:

Like fine wine, Randy Couture only seems to get better with age. Case in point: His dominating win over Mark Coleman at UFC 109.

Yep. Couture owned Mark Coleman, showing the young man how it was back in the day when they had to walk uphill both ways to school. In a driving acid rain. Wait...what?

Coleman's 45? 

So, let me get this straight. A 46-year old showed that he can get better at such an advanced age by...beating a 45-year old? How does that work? Does a 90-year old beating an 87-year old in a 100 meter dash prove anything? Age is pretty much completely irrelevant here. You shouldn't mention it. At all. It had nothing to do with anything. This match was fought in an age-vacuum. Justice will not be served until Ken Griffey Jr. repeatedly cockslaps Joe Rogan into submission for even broaching the subject. Fine wine...just because MD 20/20 Strawberry Kiwi tastes better than the Orange Jubilee flavor doesn't mean that it is fine f-ing wine. 

Now, maybe Randy Couture is...well, let's not say getting better with advanced age, but fighting particularly well for someone over 45. But, we aren't going to be able to definitively say that UNTIL HE BEATS SOMEONE THAT ISN'T HIS AGE.

Chapping my balls, Rogan.

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