Wednesday, October 10, 2012
HOLY FUCK, how did I miss this? Are you kidding me? Almost two years ago some Australian rugby player face-fucked a dog and I missed it? Ok, I know I've been out of the blog game for years, but back in November 2010 I think I was still hitting it relatively hard. Like, you know, to the degree where I would have heard about A FUCKING RUGBY PLAYER FUCKING A DOG.
His name is Joel Monaghan (the guy, not the dog...no idea what the dog's name is) and he's pulling a reverse-Vick with a teammate's dog. Which I guess is funny in Australia. And the guy who took the picture put it on Twitter. Genius! Anyway, yeah, it's a guy fucking a dog, but...like, this is the internet era. You can find plenty of dog-fucking and you don't even need to look that hard. Give it a try if you don't believe me. There is dog-fuck around just about every corner of the intertubes. I like that. See, back in 1948 people would probably joke about putting peanut butter on their cocks and having their yorkie lick it off, but they were just joking. They would be like "jajajajaja JOL nobody actually does that!" and they'd have NO IDEA that they were wrong as fuck! Without the net, they couldn't go over to Googs and find images of a drag queen blowing a okapi! They were so naive. Fortunately, we live in enlightened times nowadays.
But the part of this dog-fucking story that really got me was reading the comments on the blogs reporting it. "OH MY GOD HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO THE POOR DOG", "he should never be allowed to own a dog" and, my favorite, variations of "that poor dog is scarred for life".
What? THIS dog is scarred for life?
People...have you ever met dogs? Dogs will lick assholes of other dogs. Dogs will shit on the ground and taste it. Dogs will then throw that shit up and eat it again. Dogs will fuck cacti if you let them. You could marinate placenta in the calm waters of Cite Soleil's "River of Trash" and dogs will trip over themselves to eat that shit up. If you dig up the remains of Rutherford B. Hayes, a dog would lick them while another dog fucks them. Dogs will lick and eat pretty much anything. And this dog that had to lick a man's penis is scarred? Please. This dog probably immediately got up and licked somebody's face without even knowing the difference.
There are dogs in the streets, hungry dogs, dogs getting beaten and mistreated, and then there is this dog who had to lick a fucking penis. This dog is ok. Stop feeling sorry for it.