Thursday, January 14, 2010
Who wants to burn down a church?
If you don't, I suggest that you watch this video. Then maybe you will want to join me.
This is the kind of stuff that turns me against religion. Sure, I'll buy that religion does give some people a sense of peace or whatever with life and helps them feel good and all of that, but there is too much of this stuff. And the worst part of it isn't Pat Robertson...it's the fact that there are probably millions of people who listen and think, "ya know what, Pat's right! If Haiti's going to make a pact with the devil, of course God is going to send a devastating earthquake to clean that island up. What's that? The pact happened all the way back in 1825? Well, you know what, GOD'S GOT SHIT TO DO!". Better cut a check to Pat right now to cleanse Haiti from the devil residue!
Jeez, Pat. I know you are insane to the point where you've claimed that the Lord done hath given you the strength to leg-press 2,000 pounds. Well, that and your age-defying protein shake, which is probably some form of jizz latte. And I know you blamed Katrina on all the sin and abortions and the dicks touching together down in New Orleans. Weird, though...all of these dens of sin are located on coasts vulnerable to earthquakes and hurricanes. Maybe we should start a sinplex in International Falls, Minnesota and see what the Lord comes up with to run that one out of town. Maybe polar bears? Anyway, this one's got to take the cake. Blaming an earthquake leveling a dirt-poor country that kills an estimated 100,000 people on a voodoo priest from the early 19th century? Come on, man. Doesn't God have a statute of limitations on this stuff? The sneakiest part about it was the way God subtly placed a fault line under the country and kept it inactive until he really needed it. Although I guess all of the scientists that predicted such an event have some explaining to do...why were they crediting their obvious conversations with God to science? Probably just served to piss him off more.
The best part is the comparison to the "wealth" of the Dominican Republic, as if God had big plans for the entire island of Hispaniola until the voodoo priest went and fucked it all up. The differences in societies have nothing to do with the mountain range that separated them...I mean, come on! Those ancient civilizations couldn't just dig tunnels or something? Or just boat around them to see what's up with each other? The French and Spanish couldn't just get together on this one? Crazy. Pat also ignores that while the DR is in much better shape than Haiti, it's still poor as fuck. Just because it has some resorts doesn't change that fact that it's not a great place to live. In fact, the main reason that it looks so good is probably the fact that it's right next to Haiti. Haiti is the DR's fat friend. So the Dominican looks good enough comparatively for "US" to fuck it. We'll probably still end up with crabs.
So fuck you, Pat Robertson. You and the complacently-nodding light-skinned chick that you rode in on.