Thursday, July 26, 2012
Starling Marte has arrived
Let's get it, sons. If I'm going to try and do this blog again I'd be remiss if I didn't touch on them surging Buccos, who are surging all over the faces of the NL this year. Just all over their faces. Matt Kemp looks like one of those cinnamon swirl cookies, but instead of cinnamon and dough, he's made out of skin and Pirate cum.
The Pirates are not without their flaws, however, and one of them is "hitting". A decent part of the game. Sure, they can hit bombs and all, but outside of Cutch and Alvarez those bombs are just kind of coming from anywhere and you can't keep that up. They aren't getting on base too well on the year. As a whole, that is...yeah they were hot for a month, but they are likely to regress, and it appears to have already started. Just like the first month was an aberration on the bad side, I take this recent stretch as the opposite. The leadoff spot has been especially poor, with Jose Tabata being sent down to the Rockford Peaches and Alex Presley hitting like, .230.
Just so happens they had a guy in the wings named Starling Marte.
I've been living on Twitter recently - which is odd given that I usually spend 8 minutes a month on Twitter - waiting for Dejan Kovacevic or Keith Law or Grantland Rice to break the news of Marte's promotion. This Marte guy may not be the savior, but with everyone else hitting .194 at the top of the order, it's time to see what the fuck he can go. I'm pumped.
So let's fucking get it, kids. Remember to drink your Sambuca shots every inning in which the Bucs score.
Handwritten in cursive by Business Horse at 5:46 PM