If I was into dudes...

...then I would totally bang Lisa Leslie. The "mop" hairstyle really turns me on, I won't lie. And the teeth...those teeth look like they could chew through Andre the Giant's pubic hairs. And from what I hear, that is no small accomplishment. Unfortunately, I'm just not into dudes.

But there's nothing wrong with that, if you are. Some people just happen to be into dudes. Who am I to judge? And if you are into dudes, then I bet you have a pretty healthy man-crush on Lisa Leslie. Those eyes just light up a room. Or a maintenance garage. I bet Lisa Leslie can fix your truck if it breaks down, and that's kind of a turn-on. But not for me, since I'm not into dudes.

But if I was? Oh man, Lisa Leslie would totally get it. For hours. Hour after hour after thrust after pull out after ejaculation. Look at that necklace? I bet she's no stranger to wearing one made out of pearls. But it's not going to come from me, since I'm not into dudes.

But oh, if I was...