Tuesday, November 17, 2009

IN BEN'S EYES






IN BEN'S EYES
I did not see
IN BEN'S EYES
Any light or fire
IN BEN'S EYES
It looked kind of like...he couldn't give the slightest horsefuck
IN BEN'S EYES
I bet that Ben....was out the night before not studying film
IN BEN'S EYES
The opposite of fire
IN BEN'S EYES
It was like he has a very competent fire department in his eyes
A fire department that puts out all the fire in his eyeeeeeeeeeeessss



O. M. G. If anybody else tries to say that they didn't "see the same fire" in Ben's eyes this weekend or that the team's gotten complacent or they want the Ben from last year to come back or anything like that then I am going to adopt a Polynesian child and then never talk to him so he grows up with serious issues and then those issues manifest themselves through various reprehensible actions. Jeez. Yinz are out of your damn minds.

Yes, let's bring old Ben back. FIREBEN! 17 TDs to 15 INTs Ben! Ben that singlehandedly lost to the Colts and Giants last year. CLUTCHINESS! F this 2,400 yards thrown in like 9 games and 14 TDs Ben. He's lost his clutchiness! It's like he traded in his motorbicycle for an AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION! One with no clutch! And don't give me that "ohhh, Vern, automatic transmissions have clutches, they are just triggered automatically by the governor when it fills up with transmission fluid and etc etc." because I'll be like "STFU FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES THEY DON'T HAVE A CLUTCH!". And you don't want that because then I'd be yelling and I'm not nice when I'm yelling.

Relax, yinz. Them Stillers are 6-3. 10 wins will almost certainly at least get them back to the playoffs. They might run the tabe. Who knows. But all of yinz ready to jump off of the US Steel building need to back up a bit and crush up some chill pills and then snort them through a rolled-up dollar bill. 'Cause yinz is crazy. Ite? The Pittsburgh Super Bowl Champions will be fine, I believe. There's a lot of season left. Let's allow it to play out first, ok?

Peace be with yinz.

4 comments:

Grumpy said...

Finally some rational thought. I've never seen a fan base turn on their team so fast, especially when they've proven in the past they can win in these situations.

Anonymous said...

Was Ben the emergency long snapper against the Giants, because there was at least one special teams play that contributed to that loss.

As to your larger point, you're on point.

gldngirl423 said...

maybe he had a herpes flare up?

Vern said...

- YLOTILAB has been called the leader of the "Rational Revolution" by the Washington Post. Ok. It hasn't. But it should be!

- Yes, I know there was that and Nate Washington and some other stuff but you get my larger point. This year Benjamin > Last year Benjamin.

- Maybe he did. But you'd think that an NFL training staff would have ample Valtrex on hand.