Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Hey rappers...


...would you please shut the fuck up about running the streets already? You don't run the streets. You just rhyme about crack. Every city has streets that are claimed to be ran by the rappers of that city, like the people that actually do run the streets sit around and wait for 50 Cent's next CD to drop before they strip your Elantra. That's not the case. YOU DO NOT "RUN THE STREETS", RAPPERS...I don't even know what that means, but you don't do it. Stop yelling at your audience of 16-year old white girls that you are running streets.

Why is this phenomenon simply limited to rap music? No other genres have this problem. Soundgarden doesn't drop their guitars and yell about how they run the underground grunge clubs of Seattle. Celine Dion doesn't sing about how nothing happens in the Canadian Prairies until she says so. But why? It obviously works for rappers, and these other musicians are just missing out on an opportunity to gain some more ground on the rap scene.

So listen up, Tim McGraw...at your next concert, perform "Don't Take The Girl" or something and then just smash your guitar and yell at the people in attendance with "I FUCKING RUN THESE FARMS!!!!", and just sit there and stare at them until they start to cheer. "AIN'T SHIT HAPPEN ON THESE FARMS WITHOUT ME!!!!". I'm telling you, Tim, the crowd will go wild. And before long, you WILL run these fucking farms. Trust me.

5 comments:

Cotter said...

Besides, we all know it's really me who runs the streets. From coast to coast, son. I write a blog.

Mark it, dude.

Vern said...

COTTER, YOU RUN THESE INTERNETS!!!

Lori said...

Can I, in the middle of my next orchestra concert say "I RUN THE RETIREMENT HOMES!!! AINT NO ONE TAKES THEIR MEDS OR WATCHES WHEEL OR FORTUNE WITH OUT ME!!!" ?
Would that be appropriate?

Vern said...

Do you realize how well known you'd be after that? Seriously, you'd be on the Youtubes like a motherf-er. DO IT!

Polar Bear said...

I run these icebergs bitch. Can't wait for my BJ!