Thursday, May 28, 2009

Disrespecting the Red Wings

Detroit, currently fighting a rampant epidemic that has covered the area in AIDS. Even the lakes have AIDS. The situation appears far from being under control as a virulent strain of Canadian AIDS has appeared in recent months.

By now, if you read these, you know my feelings on disrespect. Notably the belief that fans and writers and even opposing players and ANYONE can disrespect a team without said team getting some gay intangible performance boost from the fuel of this disrespect. So, with that having been typed, I am going to douse the Red Wings in a golden shower of unabashed disrespect.

YOU! Coach Mike Babcock! Stop looking at me like I'm a 10-year-old Thai boy, you cocktaster. I don't know what kind of atmosphere you promote over there in AIDStown to get players to take lesser contracts in order to join or stay, but I can only assume it involves more reacharounds than wraparounds. And probably a good bit of glory holes as well. I hope Hossa's balls taste Czech enough for you, Pube Waddell.

And of course you, Benedict Hossa. Taking the slight discount and one-year contract to play for the Wings because they had the best chance to win the Cup, you said. Well all it has gotten you now is the best chance to get AIDS. Remember the playoffs last year when you had like, 2 good games? You Slovak cockhoarder. Here's to you laying on the ice and crying for the second time. You are like the NHL's Nancy Kerrigan!

Valtteri Filppula, pushing a grocery cart full of strawberry douche and doing what he does best...looking gay enough to pounce on the nearest cock, which is just what all Red Wings fans would be doing if they weren't busy blowing the overrated ghost of Steve Yzerman's legacy. Valterri Filppula epitomizes the term 'd-bag'. He oozes Finnish vaginal cream. Really, this homo by himself is enough to make Henry Ford himself hate the fucking Red Wings.

Ooooohhh, Niklas Lidstrom. Ohhh, I'm so old. OMG, I'm Swedish but can speak good English. I'm so good at hockey. Oh my God, my jersey C has a cock in it. YEAH WELL FUCK YOU LIDSTROM. You can't even spell your first name right. Niklas? Who do you think you are, Valtteri Filppula? At least he comes from a land of magical pube castles and jizz luges...what the hell is your excuse? You are such a Red Wing. Carrying Yzerman's legacy forward. Who think that's going to keep me from disrespecting you? I don't care how likable you may be, you can like some Malkin balls right on your eyes, you dripping triple-layer vagina cake. Fuck you and the little Swedish town you came from (which turns out to be a small village by the name of Västerås which has a population of 107,500 like-minded Swedish assbreathers).

And there are so many more, be it Kronwall or Chelios (holy f, he's 47) or Osgood or Franzen or Datsyuk or whoever. I wouldn't even consider Conklin a traitor because he didn't really have much choice but fuck him, too. Why? BECAUSE FUCK THE RED WINGS, that's why. Fuck all of them. I hate these commie looking taintslammers. The Penguins are going to beat the fuck out of these homos and they can write it on their bulletin board. "Random blogger disrespects the fuck out of the Red Wings". Great. Put it up. Fuck all of you. And I certainly have enough disrespect to go around that I could accomplish that. Homos.


The ZaZ said...

Hilarity. The cock is everywhere. First on Ovechkin, now Lidstrom. Nobody is safe.

Vern said...

You can't stop the cock!

johnny said...

I love the smell of disrespect in the morning. It smells like...victory!