Thursday, May 14, 2009

Peace out, bitch

Ovechkin, you Russian diver. Wait, my bad, only Crosby dives....then Alexis must just be a toothless vagina (lucky, we wouldn't want any cases of Ovechkin dentata when Hal Gill was busy having pokecheck sex with him throughout game 7). Sure, Ovechkin's sweet at hockey and no one can argue that, but it can easily be argued that he's a huge fan of the male genitalia and would floss with pubes if he was capable of actually flossing. Peace out, bitch.

God, I hate the Capitals. They were so pumped up after that regular season victory over the Pens in February, hate to see it come crashing down like this. Actually, like to see it. Hopefully Varlamov starts next year where he left off (a human) as opposed to some sort of puck-eating cyborg created by Russian or Ukrainian or wherever-the-fuck-he's-fromian scientists. And maybe Fleury can learn from this and CHAIN HIMSELF TO THE MOTHERF-ING GOAL. That's two blatant f-ups that created Capitals goals in this series and luckily, only one of them actually mattered. And it was overcome. Still, made Game 3 much harder to win than it needed to be. In the end, it wasn't enough to overcome the powerful intergalactic forces that were leading to the Caps once again exhibiting their penchant for blowing early-series leads to the Penguins. I hate when the Pens lose to the Caps almost as much as I hate it when the Steelers lose to the Ravens. Luckily, I don't have to commit seppuku with scissors today at work.

Hurricanes at Boston tonight to see who is up next for the Penguins buzzsaw and I'm telling you what, I'm pumped out of my mind to disrespect an entire team on here tomorrow morning. Be it journeyman goalie Tim Thomas or Brother McStaal for Carolina, there is going to be some serious disrespect on here.


Symo said...

Good to have ya back!

Vern said...

Thanks, man...I'm trying. Just kind of lost the will to write things on the internets. Hopefully I'll get it back.

johnny said...

I had the pleasure of taking in Game 5 at a bar a few blocks from the Verizon Center. As you could imagine, many of their "fans" took a few hours off of fellating Gilbert Arenas' knees to Rim the Red.

Before the game, it was probably 30% Pens fans, but once the game started, it was just me, a middle-aged Pittsburgh couple, and about 60 Craps fans.

One of the drunken popped-collars from the Beltway took the time to get in my face after the Craps went up 2-1 and inform me that "Your team fucking sucks!" which his drunken ass said in Sylvester the Cat style, spitting on my face in the process.

Needless to say, it felt good standing up and cheering in my Staal shirt after the Pens won in OT.

Oh, and popped collar douche? Consider the Red to have been Rimmed, courtesy of one Mr. Sidney Crosby.