Wednesday, August 19, 2009

OMG, socialism!!!




Yeah, you got that one right, kids. That's Mao Zedong, November 2001's Dictator of the Month! Congrats, Mao!

So, as could be expected, the cries of socialism that we heard pre-election are really ratcheting up right now as Obama begins to actually do things in office. Town hall meetings are being flooded with retards absolutely frightened of Obama and clinging to the only thing that they trust, their Glenn Becks. HE'S A GOD DAMNED DIRTY SOCIALIST, I TELL YOU!

No, lady, let me tell you. Ok. First, understand what socialism is. If your dictionary defines socialism as "a 3% income tax increase on the highest bracket along with a public healthcare option", then please, throw that dictionary away. Or just cut a hole in it and use it to transport your meth around. But please, do not use the actual definitions inside of it.

WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SOCIALIST AND ALWAYS WILL BE. We are not a democracy. We are a republic. We have elected leaders. Our checks and balances consist of like, 500 people total in a nation of 275 million. So, if you motherfuckers in Detroit don't like something that Justice Antonin Scalia believes, well...you better hope that Ruth Bader Ginsberg has your back, or else you are completely and wholly horsefucked right in your bankrupt foreclosed asses. We have always had welfare. We have had Medicare. THIS IS NOT FUCKING NEW. You retards are going to have your taxes LOWERED by Obama because you do not make $250 K a year.

Two things here....first, insurance. Health insurance. Public options. "How can private insurers compete with a government option that doesn't have to pay taxes!". Good question. But save it for now and ask it to yourself the next time you send something with FedEx. Or the next time you drive your Nationwide-insured car, eschewing the horrible state-insurance option. Or maybe the next time you fuck some drunk chick with your Trojan-sheathed whiskeydick instead of adhering to the government's abstinence-only policy. Wait, Palin didn't get elected. But still, how can Trojan compete with abstinence? Insurance companies have been accused of collusion in the past and, as profit-based enterprises, the best way for them to make a profit is to deny every claim that they can possibly deny. All the government plan is attempting to do is to keep them honest. Do you really trust the insurance companies? While you may disagree with the option, which is fine, just try not to be convinced that a public option will destroy private insurance and forcefully titfuck the "American Way". It won't.

Staying on the topic of insurance, there is a good economic reason to have insurance. Let's consider auto insurance. You are required to have auto insurance. Because when you hit some douchebag Oregon-liberal right in his gay little Prius, somebody is going to have to pay to fix the little engine on his car that converts flowers into torque. And you can't afford it. That's why you have insurance. Who do you think it is fucking up auto insurance for the rest of us? It's the uninsured. Economics is also behind the reasoning for the law requiring seat belts to be worn. It may be your body, but we don't give a fuck. Because when your dumb ass flies through the windshield, WE have to pay more to keep you on life support. WE have to pay more for all of the surgeries that you are going to require now to reattach your leg.

So, don't give me that "it should be my choice whether or not I have health insurance!" argument. You may believe it, but I don't. Because when you get cancer, do you think we are going to just let you sit there and die? Or, when you get shot, do you think that we are just going to let your uninsured ass bleed to death there on the street? No. The hospital is going to treat you, get stiffed, and the ripple effect following will raise everybody else's health insurance in the end. So why don't we just see if we can insure everybody? If not, the rest of us are paying for your right not to have health insurance. You fucking socialist. So that's my argument when you ask me how we are going to pay for all of this...in the grand scheme of things, I think most current insurance prices will drop. Might I be wrong? Abso-fucking-lutely. I don't know much about economics. However, I will contend that you don't either, because no one does. It's an inexact "science". If one side was right and the other was wrong, we'd have a perpetual cycle of one side fucking up everything they touch and the other bringing it all back together. But we don't have that. Possibly because the only economics those 500 or so in power care about are their own, but that's a different story.

And secondly, socialism. Welfare. Medicare. Food stamps. GET A FUCKING JOB! That's easy for you to say, everybody with a job. Hey homeless guy, get a fucking job! Yeah. I'm sure he actually just turned down a position at Target. I don't want the government taking my money and giving it to these poor ass motherfuckers while they sit around and enjoy the good life in Section 8 housing! Come on, people. First of all, perfect unemployment is not only practically impossible, it's not even recommended economically. Second, is you think sitting around and collecting $200 a month in food stamps is the life, then go do it. Go ahead, cowboy, this is America. You have the freedom. And if you tell me you'd rather not because your patriotic hands would rather sweat and callus and make valves for some employer who most likely doesn't give the slightest fuck about you, I'm going to jizz on your Toby Keith CDs. You do it because you like being able to afford, like, cable. Seriously, man. I actually like Toby Keith. I don't want to have to do this.


(EDIT: Upon second thought, the "partial unemployment is economically recommended" argument is disingenuous for the point I'm making. Sure, it's true, but it doesn't really address welfare recipients so much as it addresses people waiting in the wings and keeping wages reasonable and productivity high.)


And, truly, welfare and its ilk keep those poor motherfuckers from attacking you. If you cut welfare out, you had better have one hell of a security force because these legions of hungry ass people who don't have a single thing to live for know that you have money. And they are coming to your house. Probably with a gun, since there are so many of them out there. Welfare is as much about humanitarianism as it is about assuaging the masses and keeping them complacent. So please, for the good of the rest of us, pay that extra $103 a year or whatever it takes in taxes to keep welfare going.

We have always had socialist tendencies. But we are not truly socialist. In a truly socialist state, yes, you would have public health care. But it wouldn't be an option. You'd just take it. And you'd go to work where the government told you to go to work. And you'd do what they told you to do. And you'd get a monthly stipend. And that's it. The government would control all industry (well, I guess they are kind of getting close to that, actually). You can disagree with some of Obama's policies. Hell, I do myself. I think him and Bush and very similar and don't see how someone could love Bush and hate Obama and vice versa. But don't be a moron about it. Don't bring that weak "but he's a socialist!" stuff in here, because I'm going to get all argumentative and start raising my voice and possibly end up cockslapping you in the face. If your main argument is to vapidly characterize Obama as a dirty commie socialist, I'm going to characterize you as a fucking retard.

Ok. Now let's get back to talking about Vince Young's sadfaces.

10 comments:

Grumpy said...

Fucking awesome. The right wing hates Obama so much that they will say or do anything to ensure he fails.

Vern said...

It's become pretty embarrassing at this point. Our whole political system is like a sporting event now, and everybody has a favorite team. Honestly, when I read some arguments, I feel less like I'm reading some columnist's take on the Obama tax plan and more like a 49ers fanboy telling me why FRANK GORE IS GOIN 2 B AWESOME!!!!

It's making me defend some things that Obama is doing that I don't like against being like, Nazi and stuff. I HATE THAT WITH A CAPS LOCKABLE PASSION!

Austin said...

You hit the nail on the head when it comes to the party system being what it is. I fucking hate both of them because it makes me feel like a bastard child as I have Conservative economic values and mostly Liberal values.


Obama (during his campaign, I believe) has said he wants a single-payer system, but his restrictions were that "We (democrats) need the House, Senate, and the White House.


I just don't agree that in our state of debt that we need to increase our spending on programs that are broke already.

However, I would like to say that you're just about the only one who hasn't called me racist for disagreeing with Obama, so I appreciate that. Even if you did call me a backwoods redneck. Regardless, go Stillers!

Vern said...

I'm the same way, man. I'm trending slightly right economically, but at the same time don't fear social programs as much as the OMG TAXES crowd does. I don't necessarily hate taxes on the rich.

However, until Republicans get off of that stupid "JESUS SAYS NO GAY MARRIAGE AND ABORTIONS ARE MURDER!!!" stuff, I'll never vote for them. Nancy Pelosi can handcuff me to a Prius and I'm still not going to vote for Jeb Bush.

Rage said...

Nancy Pelosi wants to touch you like a broad, Vern. Just sayin'.

Ewwwwwwwwww that would make a good horror movie...or a bad dream.

Symo said...

Well, I can't argue with the fact that both parties suck... Jesus might not be for abortion, but I'm pretty sure he'd wave his magic Jesus wand and make the pregnancy go away, or turn it to a fish or something. Maybe that's why it smells...

The right wing does hate Obama, and I'm not much of a fan, mainly because throwing printed money at our economic situation wasn't the best solution, and creating a government program for healthcare is the wrong answer at this time. If they can charge 400 bucks for a hammer, they're gonna raise the amounts they charge to compete with the private insurance industries, not lower them to force competition. As much as I'd like to have faith in government, well, having worked for them... not so much.

A single payer insurance plan is not the answer, I'm hoping for something similar to the Swiss or German model, where they have a public plan and supplimental private insurance... but, we won't see that. Too much money in politics, as you like to point out. As long as some douchebag is making money on the hill, we'll never get the reform that we're all looking for.

That Pelosi bitch is gruesome.

Symo said...

The thing is, everybody says they're going broke, but nothing is stopping you from getting care and paying 10 bucks a week until it gets paid off... as long as you show "good faith effort" to paying your bill, the hospital will not force you to pay what you cannot afford.

The illusion that you can't get care is bullshit. The people who are "bankrupt and can't pay their mortgage" can't pay their mortgage, so they WON'T pay their medical bills because bankruptcy allows you to not pay them back. It's a catch 22.

Oh, and if you work in NJ (not under the table) you have to have insurance. Against the law not to. I'm just gonna be pissed when all the money I have pissed away, I mean paid to my insurance provider, is going to some jerkoff's pocket because my insurance isn't transferable to another plan within or across state lines. The system sucks, and it needs change. The problem is, the government should tackle this when the other 10% of us are working, that's my biggest gripe at this point.

Symo said...

Oh, and let's not forget that I worked in healthcare for 7 years. I've watched countless parents pay tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars for care, and my heart goes out to every child that has to endure years of hospitals instead of school and soccer games. Yes, I'd like to see socialized medicine, but only if our capitalist government can figure it out. Remember that Venn Diagram you drew for me about oil? Well, the same is true for government fucks on the take and healthcare executives. I'd like to have trust in the Government bud, I really would. But, at this point in my life, I just can't see it happening the way it SHOULD happen.

Vern said...

There is certainly a lot to not like with the current status quo. Change has not yet happened and I do not have much hope for it at this point.

Symo said...

It'll happen. Alas, the more things change, the more they stay the same is what I'm most afraid of.