While watching the Bengals finally hoard all of the disrespect that I had been heaping at them and turn it into motivation fuel, I saw that damn Adrian Peterson lizard commercial and snapped. I had had enough.
He's running through the snow, playing a successful game, diving into the endzone, just generally being awesome. And then he goes to the locker room and we see that he's a lizard.
A FUCKING COLD-BLOODED, I-SHOULDN'T-BE-EXPOSED-TO-THE-SNOW-LIKE-THIS-BECAUSE-I'M-PROBABLY-GOING-TO-DIE LIZARD.
I've heard one defense that he may have sufficient body mass to survive the conditions, however, I don't buy that he should survive and still be awesome in the snow. He should be sucking balls and repeatedly curling up somewhere on the sidelines, unexposed to the wind or even inside the locker room. One place he should not be is in the endzone at the end of the game. There is no excuse for that defense to not stop a rapidly-cooling, about to die lizard. Embarrassing.
There's only one thing that would convince me to allow this commercial to remain on the air: