Thursday, September 3, 2009


Since it's been so hard for me to come up with material of my own recently (although I have some floating around somewhere in my face), I'm going to continue copy and pasting other people's work with comments on it. Because that's easy.

Anyway, through KSK, I came upon the following defense of cheerleaders in the NFL, written by a woman named Sarah Schorno. She also mentions her daughter at the end, which immediately causes me and my penis to lose interest in her. Yes, I know it's "my penis and I". Fuck you and fuck grammar, too. And Will Smith. Fuck him.

Well, you see, I like that the Steelers don't have cheerleaders. I will respond to the "omg you don't like hot women you homo?" argument by mentioning that it's FUCKING 2009. If I want to see some tits, I'll go to Google and type "tits". I'm not going to go to an NFL game. I go to NFL games to watch, well, the NFL. Fucking cheerleaders. My "cheers" usually involve a verb, "a fucking", and a part of the male anatomy. I haven't seen any cheerleaders leading a "Braylon Edwards sucks dicks!" cheer yet. Maybe I haven't been paying attention.

Now, I'm not against cheerleaders. I just don't really care and don't see the point in having them cheer at the NFL level. Or NCAA level. Who cares. They are wearing clothes. They are not blowing me. I prefer my women to be laying on my bed covered in my jizz. But I guess that's just me.

On to the article.

I've never understood the reasons behind teams like the Giants making it clear that cheerleaders are not a part of their football vision. When the game on the field gets ugly, those cheerleaders are sometimes the only vision worth seeing.

Yeah. When the Giants are getting shellacked by the Eagles, the fans will just console themselves by eye-fucking the cheerleaders. It's gonna keep the peace!

I don't think for one second that the absence of cheerleaders detracts from the game experience, but the teams that have them are providing a service for their fans. What's better than being at a football game, beer in hand watching hot women jumping around in little outfits? Cheerleaders have always gone hand in hand with football, from the young pee wee teams on up. Why mess with tradition?

Being at the game, having a beer in hand that didn't cost $7, and getting a BJ from some nasty fat chick you pulled out of the tunnel to the 414 section. Hey, stare at our tits from 300 feet away! It's a service! And she's right, why fuck with tradition? I say that as I have a chick in the kitchen making me sandwiches and lamenting the fact that she is barred from voting.

In addition, from a business standpoint cheerleaders provide many opportunities for profit and community relations. Calendars, photo shoots, and paid appearances all bring in revenue for the team. Having beautiful women to offer for charity events and team promotional campaigns brings a better and more attractive visibility to the brand. Without cheerleaders a team has only their players to offer and let's face it, most of them are not nearly as good-looking.

You can hire any chick off the street to wear your team outfit at a charity event, where they will apparently alleviate poverty with their vaginas. And if cheerleaders are so attractive and attention getting, why is Eli Manning wearing Eco Drive watches instead of a cheerleader? Why is Jay Cutler hawking Tampax instead of the Chicago Bear cheerleading crew? Because they care more about the players than the nameless, faceless, large-titted cheerleaders. They just do.

And you can take the "it's degrading to women" and "it's inappropriate for children" arguments and shove it. Having your beauty admired by thousands can be an empowering experience. If my daughter wants to put on a skirt and cheer for her team one day, I have no problem with that. As long as she's not cheering for the Cowboys.

I will shove it. Right in some chicks ass while 10,000 people watch it for the beauty and empowerment. It's degrading as fuck...but not because people are staring at your tits. Because you have to catfight for it and the job pays you like, $50 a game. A cheerleader can't even live in Haiti without sucking a sizable load of cock on the side.

F-ing cheerleaders. Who cares.


ab said...

Actually, "Me" is correct there.

Grumpy said...

Cheerleaders are useless at any level. Did you ever stop to think that they spend the game with their backs toward the field?