Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Ugly Chinese people sure can sing

On the left...Yang Peiyi. On the right...Lin Miaoke. Two Chinese children. One common goal. Or something like that. And they were combined into one uberchinesechild.

See, while the child on the left was beaten savagely throughout her childhood, she still has the voice that dreams are made of. Her voice can be used as currency in several Pacific island nations, such as Malaysia and Nauru. And her version of "Ode to the Motherland" was positively stunning, even though I'm just going on hearsay here because I didn't see it, as I don't care about the Olympic ceremonies. They can blow me harder than my crackhead neighbor does.

Well, China wasn't having this little girl on the left sing. They wanted the little girl they had representing China to look good enough for John Mark Karr, and so they trotted little Lin Miaoke out there. However, her voice sounds like she was out drinking gin and tonics and smoking cigars all night, so they had her lip-synch to Yang's rendition of the song. And OMG, scandal!

And it has come to this, World. China wants their 9 year olds to be hot as fuck for your perverted sex offender eyes while you stare at them on TV. And, after a quick view of the local sex criminal list, I don't blame them. You sick motherfuckers have jacked it to Jon Benet one too many times and now China can't trot out their ugly children to sing their anthems anymore because you douchebags won't watch it. How do you even sleep at night?

1 comment:

Ryan said...

Woody Allen just exploded.