Friday, August 8, 2008

Motherfucking cops with motherfucking rims on their motherfucking cars!


South Florida is home to the undercover speeding cop. These douchebags drive like, Chrysler 300s, Dodge Magnums, Ford Five Hundreds, just a bunch of cars that aren't cop cars and therefore aren't on my radar when I'm pushing my whip to the limit. And that's not fair, and I hate it, and I want to put my balls deeply into their dreams so all they think about when they sleep at night is my balls, and they wake up thinking they have a mouth full of pubes, and then they go to get in their undercover Chevy Impalas trying desperately to shake the intense thoughts of pubes that they have dancing pubicly in their heads. But, enough about pubes, and more about...

...FUCKING UNDERCOVER COPS WITH RIMS. That. Is. Not. F Wording. Fair. I saw an undercover cop, black car, black window tints, and CHROME RIMS pulling a dude over yesterday. What the fuck is next? I don't care if they were only 16" rims...that's cheating, God damn it. This would be like a Chris Hansen actually dressing up like a 14 year old girl to lure dudes in on Dateline, or like Fred Phelps dressing up like a sailor before picketing funerals and calling the families fag-lovers. Probably Sailor Moon, because if there is anyone trying to ferociously repress their homosexuality, it's Freddy Phelps.

But this isn't about him. This is about policemans crossing the motherfucking line with their motherfucking rims on their motherfucking undercover ticketcars on I-95. I hate all of you. TAKE THE RIMS OFF. I'm not going to be able to tell if I'm being pursued by an officer of the law or DJ Khaled on his way to a video shoot, and this really does not make me happy.

2 comments:

Ryan said...

Hey, it's a Florida post! Wow, way to reach an audience, Vern. What's next? Hot as Balls, Part XXIII?

Vern said...

Oh, sorry, I was just reading about more Boston sports stuff over on your blog. I think it was from 4 months ago. Topical!