Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Rick Ross guards prisons like a broad

OMG, Rick Ross was a corrections officer! He wasn't the biggest boss that we've seen thusfar! That gust of wind you just felt was Tony Danza breathing a huge sigh of relief, as he is now firmly entrenched as the boss of all bosses.

Here's the lowdown on Ricky's anything-but-sordid past working for the man, and in turn keeping down the type of man that he portrayed himself as. You know, hopping out the Magnum wearing a magnum and smacking bitches or something like that. Oh, and moving weight. And that's not a fat joke...I mean coke. Rick took his name after the guy that pretty much singlehandedly made crack what it is today, affordable coke for the hood. However, in hindsight, if Rick Ross ever moved any coke, it would only have been in the following capacity:

Move that Coke, son! This isn't big news, though. The rap community will survive, as anybody who actually thought that these big-time rappers live the lives they preached probably also believed that OJ didn't kill Lacey Peterson. He fucking did. And all of the small-time rappers who actually do shoot people for their street cred or whatever are usually arrested within hours of doing so. So big-ups, Rick Ross! I'm excited to hear these developments touched on in his next CD , Triller Part II or whatever it's going to be called. I bet it's going to be the trillest representation of trill to ever hit my ears. And that's saying something, as I definitely still have the Debbie Gibson CD that I got in 1996 from a BMG 12 CDs for 1 cent deal.

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