Ok, when I wrote the last post I did a google image search for random dude. Because I needed a random dude to be an Obama supporting hippie or something. Now, you can type in the most innocuous of things with safe search off and get a sprinkling of hardcore stick-a-stapler-in-this-chick's-vagina type pictures. And you'd think random dude is surely vague enough to get some dick in your results. But...to those people I say, the safe search was ON! Go to Google image search, type in random dude, safe search on or off, doesn't matter...and look at the first result. Seriously? (Note: It's not anything ridiculously sick or anything. It won't bother you.)
Actually, in case you don't feel like searching, here it is. I'm not posting it here because I have a strict no-Honda policy. This image is part of an apparent experiment by what appears to be a gay computer programmer to create a bot that would scour the internet for penises. Interesting. Anyway, I wish I could meet the dude in this picture just to ask him a few questions.
You must really like '80s Honda hatchbacks, eh? Like, really like them?
Did you have to do it in a park?
Who came up with this idea? Was it you? How did you come across this possibility and think, yeah, I have to do this?
Who did you convince to take the picture?
What was the intention behind capturing this image? Were you planning on sending it to somebody?
Is that even your car? Are you as proud of your car as you appear to be?
You live in Ohio, right? Actually, I probably don't even need to ask that one.
Were you ready for the notoriety that you'd eventually acheive as Google image search result number one?
Has this picture opened any doors for you?
Seriously...what the fuck were you thinking?
I'm sure I'd have more if given the time to formulate a survey for this man and his camera crew. I really want to know what makes people like this do things like this on camera with their penises out. The same thing that makes a bunch of fat chicks take their clothes off and play strip poker on the internet, or the reason people take all of these ridiculous webcam shots that inevitably end up posted on 4chan or some place like that before making their rounds in front of the eyes of the somewhat normal people on the internet.
This is a fun game to play, though. If you are ever bored, take safe search off and do an image search for something like "befuddled". Or, at the other end of the spectrum, put safe search on and run a query for "unprotected ass rape". You'll probably get a picture of Ohio State in a BCS game.