Friday, September 5, 2008

Generic Energy Drink Corner - Sobe No Fear


NOTE: Background changed to protect the innocent, who has an actual job.

Ok, every so often I get a Red Bull. You know, when I'm tired. And feel like shaking. Uncontrollably.

BUT....there is a problem here. As much as I like the taste of Red Bulls, the price has risen to close to $30/gallon at some gas stations. How the hell can Red Bull cost so much? It probably costs 6 cents a can to produce. So...just as I use generic drugs, I have began to search for generic energy drinks. And today, that lead me to purchase a drink I've seen but had as-of-yet not sampled...Sobe NO FEAR.

Now, after yesterday's debacle with Unbound, I figured I had to go with something backed by a respectable brand. And I like Sobe. I like the little lizard. I think he's a little gay, but, I mean, he makes good juice and that's really all I'm here to judge him on. You make good juice, little lizard. Keep up the good work.

But, as you may have seen on the commercials, the lizard likes to get down at times. He likes to let loose and dance. And to do that, he needs energy. So he created his own energy juice. And so I gave his juice a chance. Weirdly, instead of a friendly little lizard can, he placed this stuff in a menacing dark can with a skull on it. A skull with wings. I guess that indicates that the stuff is going to kill you, but in a way that will give you the posthomous ability to fly. A little strange, but I decided to go with it. Even though it was $2.50, still a tad pricey for some damn energy juice.

So, I popped the top. Took a sip. Thought...this tastes strange. But not terrible. I noticed a grapefruitish taste, along with a small tinge of cherry. But...no dick! This energy drink did not taste like dick! And since not tasting like dick is apparently a large hurdle for most energy drinks to overcome, I have to give the lizard his props. It was a weird taste but tolerable, and I actually got to like it a bit by the end. Bueno!

It has woken me up, and as-of-yet has not given me the energy shakes. I'm shaking a bit, but not uncontrollably like I do with Red Bull and like I did with the Unbound. I'll probably update it soon after I do start shaking, just like last time. But so far so good. Good job with the energy fluid, Sobe lizard. Good job.

1 comment:

devin lansing said...

You are dead on. This is the best energy drink out there: Doesn't induce jittery murderous tendencies and no big crash.

And i'm officially a douche for commenting on this post. It's one thing to critique it on your blog, a whole different level to go to all this trouble. Oh well.