Hi, I'm John McCain and both me and my golden Livestrong bracelet approved this message.
OMG, I feel a tingling in my changebones. That must mean Obama is near!
That is not a tingling sensation in your changebones, hippie. That sensation is one of fear. And the real fear should be that of your puppy.
My puppy is in danger?
Your puppy will be in danger if we allow Obama to take over the White House, hippie. Obama voted against a bill outlawing puppy rape and puppybortions. Obama supports puppy rape and the puppy rapists who rape puppies.
We cannot allow this man to have legislation over our puppies. But that is not all. John McCain supports off-shore drilling. Barack Obama supports graphic sex-education for kindergarteners. Barack Obama wants to drill inside your 7 year old daughter.
Barack Obama wants to have sex with my pre-teen daughter? OMG, maybe I am not experiencing joyful hopespasms...
There's more. On top of raping our puppies and having sex with our 7 year old daughters, Barack Obama voted Yes on mandatory homosexuality in the military. John McCain has always supported our troops. Barack Obama wants to turn our troops gay.
Gay change is not change that we can believe in! But, Obama is one of us!
Obama is not one of us, hippie. When Obama plays Halo 3 on the internet, he does so not as a smalltown Spartan soldier, but as one of those alien Elites.
Barack Obama is not one of us. He is an Elite on XBox Live. An Elite puppy-raping kidfucker...is this change we can count on, America?
I'm John McCain, and some people will believe this message.