Wednesday, September 17, 2008


Hi, I'm John McCain and both me and my golden Livestrong bracelet approved this message.

OMG, I feel a tingling in my changebones. That must mean Obama is near!

That is not a tingling sensation in your changebones, hippie. That sensation is one of fear. And the real fear should be that of your puppy.

My puppy is in danger?

Your puppy will be in danger if we allow Obama to take over the White House, hippie. Obama voted against a bill outlawing puppy rape and puppybortions. Obama supports puppy rape and the puppy rapists who rape puppies.

We cannot allow this man to have legislation over our puppies. But that is not all. John McCain supports off-shore drilling. Barack Obama supports graphic sex-education for kindergarteners. Barack Obama wants to drill inside your 7 year old daughter.

Barack Obama wants to have sex with my pre-teen daughter? OMG, maybe I am not experiencing joyful hopespasms...

There's more. On top of raping our puppies and having sex with our 7 year old daughters, Barack Obama voted Yes on mandatory homosexuality in the military. John McCain has always supported our troops. Barack Obama wants to turn our troops gay.

Gay change is not change that we can believe in! But, Obama is one of us!

Obama is not one of us, hippie. When Obama plays Halo 3 on the internet, he does so not as a smalltown Spartan soldier, but as one of those alien Elites.

Barack Obama is not one of us. He is an Elite on XBox Live. An Elite puppy-raping this change we can count on, America?

I'm John McCain, and some people will believe this message.


AndSheWas said...

You better watch out, this is going to get liberals fairly outraged. Did you learn nothing from the debacle The New Yorker wnet through?

Vern said...

I'll keep my eye open for suspicious Pruises pulling up to my house at night.

Rage said...

Same as Priuses. You know, I'm a left-leaning moderate who drives a great big frikkin gas-sucking, environment-destroying, carbon-emitting Land Rover(joyously), I buy case upon case of bottled water and throw the empties in the non-recycle garbage while smoking cigarettes in public schools and other tightly enclosed areas with non-smokers, and your blog has PISSED ME OFF!!!! What's with the bizarre posing words like "vokeyn"? Is that a reactionary satanist word?

Vern said...

God damn it. Prius.

I am the same way. I lean left but couldn't really care much less about the environment.