Monday, November 24, 2008
I wish I could shave
I have no theme. Am I supposed to have a theme? You know, like how some people dedicate their blogs to the Steelers or to puppies or to the size of their genitals or something, I just kind of go with whatever I feel like putting down. Is that normal? I don't know. Regardless, on to something completely pointless and irrelevant.
I suck at shaving. Seriously. I am terrible. Luckily I grow facial hair like a 15 year old, so I only have to shave it like once a week or so. But just about every time I do I cut myself. Sometimes pretty badly. In any given month, I'll cut myself more than an emo kid would in his saddest year. Why is this so hard? It can't be like this for everybody, can it? Should I stop using 4 year old rusted razors? Or does my razor just feel like it's 4 years old and rusted because I am to shaving what Kyle Boller was to the forward pass? Or what John Holmes was to wrapping it up? I have no idea. But I need to work on it, because I'm tired of my face feeling like Andre Rison's house after Left Eye Lopez set it on fire. Really cramps my style for the next few hours.
In my continuing effort to be a perfect human, I really need to work on correcting small flaws such as these. Not to worry, though...I'll eventually master the shaving process. One of these days, laser hair removal surgery is going to be jealous.