Thursday, November 20, 2008

Stepping to the defense of powder blue

I didn't think I'd ever have to do this...but I saw some powder blue bashing going on and I have to step up in defense of the best uniform color ever. I don't even think it's close. Powder blue makes everything awesome...I swear, if I was forced to have intercourse with a 75+ year old lady, I'd go for one of the blue haired ones. I'd even let her watch me jack off to her daguerreotypes, and I'd be fucking into it. Trust me, it would be worth the price of admission.

TONIGHT: VERN on stage, masturbating furiously to some of the hottest daguerreotype photographs in existence. The renowned entertainer VERN has received worldwide acclaim for his incredible ability to stroke the fuck out of himself.

TICKETS: $10, sold at the front starting two hours before the show or online at www.vernjacksit.gravy.

Regardless of all that, the fact remains that the light blues look silky in almost every single example of their usage. It's like they are made out of pure luscious silk. Don't argue with me. ARGUE WITH THE JPEGs, MOTHERFUCKER:

That's hottttt.



UNC's uniforms are they only thing about them that I can stand.

The powder blue looked so good here that it looks as if it led to an outbreak of gay love.

San Diego's blues are the NFL's best uniform.

The light blue makes Woodland Hills High School's uniform. It's easily the best in Western PA in my opinion.

These are even better than the current Penguin blue uniforms.

I want an Expos jersey.

Don't ever criticize the blues, motherfuckers. I don't know where you live but I can find out. Not sure what I'd do after I found out, but it would almost certainly include a semi-threatening voicemail.

And no one wants to have to go through that.


Rage said...

Well, well...UNC hater huh? I'll overlook that little piec of ignorance on your behalf because I dig what you lay down...BUT bes check yo self FOO!!!

I actually own that #9 Andy Bathgate jersey which is prohibitively expensive, but SOOOOO fucking pimp!

I think people are freakin out because somebody let on that the Pens were thinking about switching it to their primary jersey when the new arena opens. People fear change, Vern, like you fear lesbian Stiller fans

Vern said...


And yes...I hate UNC basketball with the passion that Robert Mugabe hates white people.

Rage said...

As long as you are not a Duke fan...Robert Mugabe hates white people?!?!?!?! Next thing you know, you'll be trying to tell me that Louis Farrakhan hates jews and white people...sheesh vern

Vern said...

I hate Duke basketball more than any team that isn't OSU or Michigan football.