Friday, November 21, 2008

Terrell Owens is a douchebag


Wow! Such fresh material. But T-O is such a whiny, self-absorbed douche that I can't help myself. It's uncanny how into himself this guy is.

Yesterday during the epic Bengals-Steelers tilt, Deion Sanders and his technicolor dreamcoat sat down to talk with Owens about the Cowboys and T-O himself. T-O showed up in an Eagles sweater, but that I couldn't care less about. T-O is not going to go out and try to actively sabotauge Dallas' season to help Philly's. So who cares about that.

However, his comments about needing to get the ball more were so douchey that they could freshen Jenna Jameson's vagina. He essentially said that the Cowboys have no chance to win the Super Bowl unless he gets the ball as much as he possibly can. Get him the ball and the championships will come, as evidenced by his past championships as a part of.....oh. Still, he got to a Super Bowl and played very well, catching enough passes TO STILL LOSE BECAUSE THERE ARE OTHER GUYS ON THE TEAM.

But...how deprived of the ball is Owens this year? Looking at the stats, T-O has been passed to 82 times on the year. He's ranked in the bottom 10 or so percent of effectiveness amongst WRs targeted 35 plus times this year, and the only person even close to him with as many passes thrown his way is Braylon Edwards, who would have had a hard time catching some Z's in a bowl of alphabet soup this year. There are 13 guys in the NFL who have been targeted more than T-O, yet only a handful of them have been targeted substantially more than the 82 times that T-O has. And yet, just about all of them have been productive. Certainly, all of them have been far more productive than T-O.

So you know what, T-O? If you want to justify getting even more passes thrown your way, maybe you should do something with the ones that are coming your way now. Until then, no one is really going to pay any attention to what you say.

And thanks, Deion, for tossing softballs and verbally fellating Owens on tv. That's what I needed to see at halftime, a man in a rainbow sweater sucking another man off live. Thanks.


EDIT: syntax and T.O. to T-O for improved readability. Wooooooo!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

i think it's "couldn't care less"

Vern said...

It is and I purposely try to never make that mistake. Damn it.

AB said...

anonymous is a bitch. say it to his face!

White But Still Hip said...

But I have TO on my fantasy team. Doesn't seem like such a bad guy now, does he?

Lori said...

haha amazing

tricandl. Sounds like a tri-colored candle