OMG World Record!!!

What the hell is that, Blackberry? Is that a 150m race? Are you trying to advertise to those that actually remember the terms of the Michael Johnson-Donovan Bailey showdown? Or, and I think this is more likely, did you not run this commercial by anyone who would know what they are talking about? Yeah. I'm going with the latter.

The first dude finishes in 13.something seconds, which I get it it's a commercial yada yada yada he's running so fast his legs blur. But if you pay attention at the end, you'll see the rest of the pack crossing the finish line in the 14 second range...why? What race could they be running? At first I thought it was a 100m and was going to make fun of them for being so slow, but it can't be. They start from a curve. 13 seconds is a respectable time for the 110 m hurdles, but no one hurdles anything, so that's out. The 200m starts on the curve, so that would be the only logical assumption based on, you know, actual track races.

So what the hell are they all doing finishing under 15 seconds??? Usain Bolt just broke the world record this past year in Beijing at 19.30. And he wasn't even texting during the race! I don't know what kind of drugs these Blackberry guys are on, but they really should be tested. My only other thought would be that this is some kind of nod to Donovan Bailey, since both he and the Blackberry are Canadian, and that they are running a 150 m dash. I can't find anywhere online that will tell me what Bailey's winning time was in that (Johnson pulled up, so maybe he just kind of glided across the finish), but I can assume it might be in the 13-14 seconds range. Actually I'd guess more in the 14-15 second range, but still, close enough.

Is that what you were going for, Blackberry? I doubt it. I just think you are a bunch of retards who had no idea what the hell you were doing. So I'm not going to buy your phone and text people in races. Especially since in my last race two weeks ago I raced some dude barefoot on the street since I was wearing sandals and while I smoked him I still fell at the end and have a bad cut on my left hand. So fuck you, Blackberry, it's your fault.