Argument that chaps my balls

Let's get one thing straight here, I do not like my balls all chapped up. They don't make a chapstick strong enough to moisturize these balls when they get chapped, and it puts me in a pretty poor mood. So please, work towards keeping my balls chap-free.

During a ride home from Orlando yesterday, the NFL games were obviously a topic of discussion. We were talking about the Chargers as a good team when a friend suggested that they might kind of suck, at least due to their record. And he had a point, they probably aren't a great team anymore. But I did mention that they should have beat Denver and had the game stolen away by this striped man shown above, Mr. Ed Hochuli, a man who once fractured both of his forearms while signaling a personal foul. Everybody remembers the play, and if you don't, well...just pretend you do. Well, my friend repeated the line you hear from all the talking heads and coaches on TV..."still, they had a lot of chances to win that game and there were tons of other plays that they could have won it on". God, do I hate that argument. Sure there are. There absolutely are. In any game. But, none of them are as unquestionable as the Hochuli call. If that call is made correctly, the game is over. That's it. You cannot make that argument definitively about any other play. And I think if you make this argument, you can never complain about a bad call in any sporting event again.

Ever.

Say a ref messes up and calls a last second field goal attempt wide right when it was really good. Say there was no time left and the team that kicked it was down one. By this logic, they are not allowed to say the call cost them the game, because there were plenty of other opportunities to win it. So no complaining. I don't want to hear it.

That basketball game in the '70s where the US played the USSR and lost on the third inbound attempt because the clock never started? Can't complain.

There is only one benefit to this rule...Seahawks fans will have to stop complaining about the fact that they weren't allowed to hold and push-off in Super Bowl XL. The only reason I think that the NFL wanted the Steelers to win that game was because they actually let Seattle make it to the Super Bowl. But really, there wasn't much else that they needed to do after arranging that.