Monday, October 6, 2008

Got 14 seconds to kill?

Then you might as well go to Youtube and watch the end of Kimbo Slice's career (possible hyperbole...I'm just parroting a Yahoo article of a similar name). Kimbo was all set to fight the disheveled remains of Ken Shamrock; however, Shamrock suffered a laceration while training. Not sure how, but he did. And you know you can't fight with a cut. You might get AIDS.

So, in stepped Seth "The Ecuadorian Milk Snake" Petruzelli, some purple haired freak 47 years Shamrock's junior and much hungrier than Shamrock, who eats large portions and is rarely actually hungry. Slice backed him into one of the 37 corners of the octagon, but then appeared to slip and that was that. Kimbo Slice laid on the octagon like a broad, and that was game. It was not the worst case of laying on the ice like a broad that had seen in the Bank Atlantic Center, however, as the Florida Panthers do call the building home. Apparently this had Slice in good spirits afterwards, as he was still planning on getting his swerve on in downtown Lauderdale, saying, "it's all good, it's all good. I want to thank this man for taking this fight at last notice. It was unexpected. We still gonna have the after party at Art Bar."

Art Bar? Freaking Art Bar? That gay ass little techno faux-uppity club bar? You know, getting beat in 14 seconds by some weird looking dude half your size is one thing. But I thought Kimbo was street. We've all seen the backyard fighting videos that look like they come out of Hialeah or some other less than reputable part of Miami...but Art Bar? I lost a lot of respect for Kimbo Slice after I heard that he was taking his show on the road to Art Bar. There are so many dive bars out near the Bank Atlantic Center that would have been more suitable for this. Even like, an Ale House or a Dave and Buster's would have been many times less gay than holding a post-fight event at Art Bar. God damn it, do I hate Art Bar with passion. If I ever adopt a gay kid, I'm naming him Art.

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