Friday, October 17, 2008

Go violate yourself genitally, work

God damn it. Hey, it's Friday night, Vern! Why aren't you out trying to pick up cougars while they complain about their 401K plans? You know, brighten up their lives with some young wang?

Well, if you have to ask, it's because I have to go to Chicago for a work trip. It's almost like a field trip, but one that you make on a plane and stay for 5 days while losing your weekend. I LIKE MY WEEKENDS! Not only that, but Penn State attempts to get that decrepit, herpes-ridden monkey off of their backs tomorrow at Michigan. 9 freaking games!!!!! And where will I be? Most likely, working! But you know, if that's what it takes to get a PSU win over those dickjackets from Michigan, then I guess that's what I'm gonna have to do. So let's go Joe, try to beat UM while you can still see more than five feet in front of you. If my cock were as thick as Joe Paterno's glasses I'd have already retired from doing pornography.

And then I get to work through the Steeler game as well! As much as I would have loved to witness Ryan Fitzpatrick's epic showdown with the forward pass, I guess I'll be having just as much fun on the job. Sweet!

So, no ridiculous nonsensical posts from me until the end of next week. In the meantime, I suggest you try to get on with your lives the best that you can. I wish you luck.


Lori said...

the thick glasses joke... amazing. I love how you manage to think of these things.

How to survive the trip... get trashed Jeff Reed style. Then tell us about it later.

Rage said...

Balls. That's all I can say. I got nothing.

Boxcar Fritz said...

Have fun in Boys Town!