Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Coach, I'm just sad

*steps into easy sack*

VINCE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING! You can't just take easy sacks like that! You had Gage underneath as a safety route, and you didn't even look at him!

Coach, I tried...I mean, I kind of looked over a little but...fuck it, coach. I'm just sad.

You're sad? Vince, what are you talking about? Do you need another positive peptalk?

Coach, the peptalks just aren't getting it done anymore. I feel kind of sad that you didn't know I was sad. I'm sadder now. Don't you even check my Myspace page anymore? I'm considering a change to "melancholy".

Vince, I'm sorry. I have been pretty busy lately gameplanning and breaking down our opponents to check up on your Myspace....and please, Vince, you have to stop changing into the Texas uniform every time you get sad.

But coach, they loved me there! I felt whole. I need to feel whole again. Everybody cheered when I stepped on to the field.

I know, Vince, but you can't go back. You are a professional now. You make a king's ransom to play this game. Quite a pretty penny indeed.

Young drops back, fires to Limas Sweed along the sidelines...touchdown! Touchdown Longhorns! The crowd goes wild!!!! They love Vince Young here!!!!!

*runs around the sidelines in faux celebration*

VINCE! Stop daydreaming! You are not at Texas anymore! Now can I count on you to get out there and just win games?

...I guess. Where's my helmet...and my Titans uniform. Ok. What are we going to run here? I need to...fuck it, coach, I just don't care. I'm too sad. I'm gonna go over and drink some Gatorades.

God fucking damn it!!!! Where's Collins?

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